Bad Habits by kenia Lopez

When you think about bad habits, some thoughts that may come to mind are drinking in excess, smoking, or having too much ice cream before bed. I’m guilty of one or two of those habits, but I’ve actually had the most trouble with a certain issue I’ve battled for the majority of my life.

We have all made choices that have brought pain to ourselves and others. I’m not the type of person who is too stubborn to apologize when I’m wrong, and I’m not one to hold a grudge after someone has apologized. My problem is different. After realizing I’ve done something wrong or wronged someone, I have a difficult time forgiving myself. Even when the situation or the person involved is long gone, I keep my mistake alive in my thoughts, and I enter a self-inflicted loop of blame. 

Obviously, when you make a mistake, you have to deal with consequences. In my case, I lost a friend. When you make a mistake, the goal is to learn from it and change, not punish yourself forever. Somehow, I have always felt in debt to the person I hurt, and I had to put up with them throwing it back in my face. Once you can’t handle this toxic behavior from another person and their guilt trips, the next step is cutting off the relationship with that person.

Here is where my problem or "bad habit" comes into play. In my situation, not only did I not see they had not forgiven me, but I also had not forgiven myself. If that was the case, I wouldn't have guilty emotions that would make me pick up the phone or answer a negative message because I care what they think. "If I don't answer, that will make me seem like a bitch all over again."  This mode of thinking and doing would throw me back in the cycle of feeling like a piece of shit again. 

The first thing that helped me on my path toward self-forgiveness is recognizing this bad habit. I used to care too much that someone would think I was a bad person. Deep inside, I know I’m not. I know I’m another human that makes mistakes. If someone can’t forgive you after you apologize and forgive yourself, the problem is within them, not you!


The same way I had to learn compassion for others, I had to have compassion for myself as well. You can’t change the past, but you can change your negative behaviors for the future. 

I'll leave you with this quote:

“Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil; With them forgive yourself.”
~William Shakespeare

If God forgives, why can’t you?

What is IF ? by kenia Lopez

I stumbled on the IF diet while doing research for my stomach problems. I’ve had a sensitive stomach since I was a teen, and this problem has gotten worse due to bad eating habits and consuming a lot of alcohol throughout the years.

IF stands for intermittent fasting. IF is an eating pattern where you cycle between periods of eating and fasting. Most people already "fast" every day, while they sleep. Intermittent fasting can be as simple as extending that fast a little longer.

You can do this by skipping breakfast, eating your first meal at noon and your last meal at 8 pm. 

That way, you're technically fasting for 16 hours, every day, and restricting your eating to an 8-hour window. This is the most popular form of intermittent fasting, known as the 16/8 method. Some people do the 20/4 method where they fast for 20 hours and eat between the remaining four hours.

Despite what you may think, intermittent fasting is actually fairly easy. You don’t have to plan a bunch of meals throughout the day, which is convenient. Many people say that they feel better and have more energy during a fast, too. I am obviously one of these people, but you need to make sure to consume the right nutrients, vitamins, and minerals to sustain a healthy body.

Hunger is usually not that big of an issue, although it can be a problem in the beginning while your body is getting used to not eating for extended periods of time. 

The only foods that do not break your fast are water, coffee, and tea (without adding sugar).

Why do I do it? 

Well, as I said, I’ve had a lot of issues with my stomach and indegestion. Little by little, I’ve been trying new methods to make my body feel better. I was at a point in my life where I had to choose between hunger and pain.

So far, this method has worked immensely. When you don’t eat for a while, several things happen within your body. IF reduces insulin which helps boost your metabolism. So, WTF IS INSULIN? I knowww, so many terms! Insulin is a hormone that regulates your blood levels (but if we get into those details, that’s a different blog post.)

The main reason I love IF is because my body can take a break from having to digest food all day. Not only have I lost weight, but I have tons of energy, too.  Eating is no longer a dilemma. 

This is an example of my eating schedule:

8am: Warm water, apple cider vinegar, and lemon

11am: Black coffee, no sugar

1pm: Breakfast / Lunch (I make sure this is a big meal containing protein and veggies.)

4pm: Snack (usually fruit and yogurt)

7pm: Dinner (protein and a salad or soup)

9pm: Peppermint or ginger tea (no sugar) 

11pm: Tea or warm water with lemon 

++ I wont lie though - sometimes, WITH IN MY EATING WINDOW, I have Starbucks, a small vegan cupcake when I crave something sweet, or pizza for dinner if I’m feeling devilish (hey, nobody is perfect.)

Have you tried it IF or heard of this fasting method? What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below, and let’s chat about it!

Fear by kenia Lopez

Last week, I posted the following question on Instagram: What is one thing, within yourself, holding you back from an important goal?

I was not surprised when almost 200 comments had to do with fear - fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, and fear of the unknown. I knew fear would be a common response because I, too, suffer from the fear of failure. And the truth is, most of our fears come from something someone said about us.

So, what is fear? Fear is an emotion, but this feeling is associated with negative feelings and thoughts. The crazy part is that fear is actually a motivator and a chance to become stronger at something, if used in a constructive way. You should already know that you can survive any breakdown, failure, or heartbreak; we’ve survived those situations plenty of times during our lives, yet we let this "feeling" hold us back from goals we want to accomplish. 

When a person says they are afraid of failure, what failure are they referring to? The failure itself hasn't even happened yet! Really, people are afraid of made-up outcomes in their minds about the future. That’s a little insane, right?

Recently, I went through this same fear - fear of something that had yet to happen. 

Very few people know this, but I’ve talked about wanting to work with kids someday. Well, about two weeks ago, I got an unexpected call. While I’ve enjoyed motivating others through posts and captions on Instagram, or via this blog and one-on-one situations with people I’ve met, I have never been asked to speak to a group or large audience. This time around, I was asked to be a guest speaker at an event for kids. Imagine that. 

The universe is definitely conspiring to help me reach my goals, the same goals I’ve been talking about with others. I could let fear hold me back, or I could come to grips with the fact that fear of the unknown is a waste of time. I was definitely nervous to speak to a new crowd, but I put my fear to the side and used that feeing as a motivator, instead, and I’m really glad I did. I had a great time speaking to these kids, and by their response, they enjoyed what I had to say, too.

After the event, I couldnt believe how smooth everything turned out and how I lost sleep for days being nervous over nothing. So next time your fear kicks in, nip it in the bud and go for it.

It'll be worth it!


Let’s Turn Failures Into Stepping Stones by kenia Lopez

People ask me if I live with regrets.

The honest answer is "Yes, I do."

There are moments I regret decisions I’ve made, and if given the chance to go back, I would probably choose otherwise. But when I look at the bigger picture, I don’t regret anything that happened because everything happens for a reason.

If you had a chance to go back in time and change the past, would you?

The circumstances I’ve put myself in have taught me certain lessons that some people could not even fathom, and I’m still dealing with some of the consequences of those decisions. On the same token, waking up and witnessing how much one can change and evolve has been beautiful. Without my past, I wouldn’t have these moments of reflection that I’m actually really proud of. 

I’m still learning.

Letting go of the past has been a hard road. Some days, I wake up angry at myself, having feelings of failure.

After almost two years of rebuilding, growing, and evolving, and at the same time, making more mistakes, I realize I have meaning and purpose which are fueled by those "crazy" circumstances.

By nature, I’m a caring, loving person, but when I fuck up or make a mistakes, forgiving myself is so hard, damn near impossible. People say “Let go” or “The past is the past,” and I get it, but letting go isn’t so easy for someone like me who feels so deeply and thinks about things a million times before drowning in a thought. This is a constant battle, and staying aware of my thoughts and emotions takes a lot of practice. I’m willing to put in the work, though, because I want to move away from revisiting regret.

Growth is about being honest with yourself. Regret keeps us stuck in the past, so ask yourself what you need to do, right now, to support yourself in moving forward. Recognize what you need to do, and do it, because you’re worth the journey ahead, a journey that’s a lot better to travel down than staying stuck in the past.

I’m so glad to have all of your support and uplifting comments, so thanks again for joining me on my journey: the good, the bad, and all that’s to come.


My #1 Skin Secret by kenia Lopez

If there’s anything I’ve learned from all those years of partying, not sleeping and too much drinking is how important taking care of your skin is. ( I lie, I deft learned a lot more than that lol)  But skincare routine and taking off your makeup properly are equally as important. 
Alcohol dehydrates your body generally, including the skin – your body's largest organ. This happens every time you drink. Drinking too much is also thought to deprive the skin of vital vitamins and nutrients. Overtime, drinking heavily can have other, more permanent, detrimental effects on your skin.
Vitamin C is necessary for collagen production and maintenance of our skin. Turbo Booster C Powder by Philosophy is a 99.8% vitamin c powder that acts as an antioxidant to help protect skin and prevent premature aging. Minimizes the appearance of fines lines and is a natural skin brightener that helps improve skin discoloration and even skin.
I believed what has helped me immensely through out the years is this product. It keeps my skin nourished, soft and smooth, especially when used in combination with my daily moisturizer which also contains vitamin c.
You will notice results in the first couple days! Bright, firm skin! The scoop and portion you need daily is so tiny so it will be a long time before you can finish the bottle. Trust me on this one is like crack for the skin. You ll be addicted!
YW :)